?

Log in

lawboy1983 [userpic]
SW Journal - Too Little, Too Late (#1)
by lawboy1983 (lawboy1983)
at June 18th, 2007 (12:59 pm)

Disclaimer: This journal post is a work of fiction, using the character Sam Winchester, as portrayed in the Alec Winchester 'Verse.
Timeline: Set between Tears of a Clown and Prodigal Son – Prologue.




For as long as I can remember, Dad always tried to protect me. He trained me to fight, to defend myself, to survive; he armed me with a .45 just to scare off the shadows in the closet. And when he couldn't be there to watch over me himself, he made sure Dean was there to fill his shoes. Watch out for Sammy – the Winchester Family Motto. Whatever John Winchester says is law.

And for almost as long as I can remember, I've wanted nothing more than to prove him wrong. I wanted to prove that I didn't need to learn to fight, that I didn't have to hunt demons, that I didn't need his vendetta, and that I sure as hell didn't need his protection. I was determined to prove to him that I could make it just fine on my own, without him.

And a fine fucking job I did of it too.

It wasn't enough that Mom got killed because of me. I managed to get Jessica killed too. And now Dad is—

The real irony of it all is that, deep down, I really thought he could do it. Like every child who thinks that underneath that normal guy exterior their dad is actually Superman, I thought John Winchester was invincible, that my dad could – and would – always protect me, even when I didn't want to believe that I needed protecting.

He always thought he knew best. Maybe he did. Maybe if I had just listened to him when it would have made a difference, he'd still…he'd still be alive.

Dean's right though. Too little, too late.

And the demon has plans for me. I don't know what those plans are, but I'm damn sure it's not going to be like winning the lottery. And as the demon starts putting that plan into action, I can't help but wonder who's going to be next on my casualty list. Dean? Alec? I wonder if Dad always knew how much of a liability I am.

Everything is such a fucking mess! Dean wants to pretend he's just fine, but there's a few new dents in the Impala that say otherwise. And Alec… I can't even begin to guess what's going on with him. We're heading back to Seattle, and from the look on Alec's face we might as well be heading for the gallows.

I just wish…

…I wish that Dad were here. He'd know what to do. He always did.

Comments

Posted by: Kayla Shay (kaylashay)
Posted at: June 18th, 2007 06:46 pm (UTC)
SPN - Frown

Oh Sammy! *hugs him*

I'm so glad you picked up Sam, cause this was a wonderful glimpse into his head.

Is it cheating if "Dean" reads Alec and Sam's journals? ;-)

Posted by: mari4212 (mari4212)
Posted at: June 18th, 2007 08:07 pm (UTC)
friendsmock

Hey, part of being the big brother is always sneaking looks at his little siblings' secrets, and that definitely includes journals.

Posted by: Kayla Shay (kaylashay)
Posted at: June 18th, 2007 08:54 pm (UTC)
SPN - Gotcha!

True, true. Dean needs to make sure the youngsters are keeping in line.

Posted by: Sierra Phoenix (sierraphoenix)
Posted at: June 18th, 2007 08:50 pm (UTC)
Dean - Are you serious?

That's not cheating. Besides...Sam being the computer wiz that he is, he snuck a peek at Dean's and Alec's before writing his own. :D

Posted by: Kayla Shay (kaylashay)
Posted at: June 18th, 2007 08:52 pm (UTC)
BtVS Can't See Me

Darn. And here Dean thought he was being all clever by clearing the history on Sammy's computer after posting to his journal and then covering it up more by going to bustyasianbabes.com.

:-)

Posted by: Sierra Phoenix (sierraphoenix)
Posted at: June 18th, 2007 08:59 pm (UTC)
Dean - Looking Left

Nah, Sam is totally on to big brother. Nothing gets past Sammy...you know, except for the obvious things.

Posted by: Kayla Shay (kaylashay)
Posted at: June 18th, 2007 10:28 pm (UTC)
SPN - Ah

Dean did get a little bit of gratification out of this though:

Dean's right though.

:-D

Posted by: Sierra Phoenix (sierraphoenix)
Posted at: June 18th, 2007 10:41 pm (UTC)
Sam - Looking Left

Sam has one very dignified response to that:

:P

Posted by: Kayla Shay (kaylashay)
Posted at: June 19th, 2007 01:46 pm (UTC)
SPN - Dean

Bitch. ;-)

Posted by: Sierra Phoenix (sierraphoenix)
Posted at: June 19th, 2007 05:33 pm (UTC)
Sam - Looking Left

Jerk ;)

Posted by: Kayla Shay (kaylashay)
Posted at: June 19th, 2007 05:46 pm (UTC)
SPN - Unicorn Rainbow

And wouldn't you know that this just popped up on my FList:

http://community.livejournal.com/supernaturalart/355532.html

:-)

Posted by: Sierra Phoenix (sierraphoenix)
Posted at: June 19th, 2007 06:12 pm (UTC)
Dean

lmao! That's so cute!

Posted by: jinnifanfic (jinnifanfic)
Posted at: June 21st, 2007 03:58 pm (UTC)

You rock. Seriously. This is awesome.

And I'm thinking that Alec doesn't look at his brother's journal entries, y'know? It probably doesn't even cross his mind. Hell, he probably doesn't think *Dean* has a journal.

Posted by: Sierra Phoenix (sierraphoenix)
Posted at: June 21st, 2007 11:45 pm (UTC)
Dean

Yay! I'm glad you liked it!

And I agree...in fact, I kind of doubt that any of the brother's read the others' journals because you gotta think that if they did, they'd all be a little less dense than they tend to be. ;)

And have I mentioned recently how much I love this 'verse? I've been trying to puzzle out how to make that on snippet from the "five things..." fic a full-fledged story, but my muse is being lazy on ALL fic fronts.

*pouts*

14 Read Comments